CINCINNATI OH — Cincinnati Reds slugger Adam Dunn has confirmed recent speculation that he is in fact mythological lumberjack Paul Bunyan’s nephew.

“You see he’s my mom’s bother ” Dunn told SSNN. “As a… Read more

Will Leitch has had the pleasure of editing me for two years which may be the longest relationship he's had in his life. I wish I could tell you it was a joy to edit him but he was the most high-maintenance prima-donnish whiny bitch I've ever come across in my long and glorious publishing career and that includes Shannon Doherty Jenna Jameson and Skip Bayless.

That whole aw-shucks-I'm-just-a-simple-country-girl-from-Mattoon pose is total bullshit. The guy wakes up (at about noon in his mother's basement) and thinks "Whose life can I ruin today? Do I have any more pictures of Daulerio jerking off Matt Leinart that I took the night before? Can I crawl up Albert Pujols' ass any deeper?"

But by far the biggest dick move I've ever seen the guy make was backstage before Bob Costas' HBO show. You all saw what happened on the air but I'm here to tell you what went down (and on whom) before the cameras started rolling. There we were in the Green Room and Leitch walks up to Bissinger— he comes up to his waist barely— and says "Oh Mr. Bissinger sir I'm such a fan. Is there anything I can do before the show to take the edge off?"

Needless to say Bissinger looked at him quizzically and said "Son you don't have to do that. You're a talented blogger and I'm about to go out there and tell the world you're your generation's W.C. Heinz."

Leitch snapped back at him. "Fuck you Buzz. You want the blowjob or not? This is what I do every day for Ankiel and this is what I'm offering you. Take it or leave it. Now or never."

Knowing I was Leitch's editor Bissinger turned to me and said " Your author has some issues." Just as I was about to respond Leitch uppercuts Bissinger—in the balls—and the PA tells them that they're on in ten seconds.

Suffice it to say this method of ingratiating himself to his elders must be how he got his new lame gigs at New York and Sporting News. If only he were better at this particular activity maybe he wouldn't have to slum it in the MSM. Either way it sucks that he's leaving Deadspin.

Dearest Will: Welcome to the other side sellout.

Aileen Gallagher
My long personal nightmare is over.
After three years of enduring the massive ego trip called "Will Leitch editor of Deadspin " I won't have to feign interest in this incomprehensible website its sycophantic readers or its misaligned (but blinding) sun William Franklin Leitch.
No more will I be forced to attend commenter events that exist only as an opportunity for poor deluded readers to learn the hard way about Will's social limitations. (Until Will's career reaches its likely conclusion in which case I'll meet you by the merch table at SpinCon. I hear it's at the Valley Forge Convention Center next year. Right near A.J.!)
I relish Will's future filled with editors who gleefully cut the 250 throat-clearing words he insists on inserting in every post. His prose will be fished from a sea of indecipherable italics. His interviews will focus more on the As not line after line of Qs lest we forget how smart he is.
Welcome Will. You're in my house now.

BRIAN POWELL

WHERE THE FUCK WAS SI'S HOT CLICKS FROM 2006-2007?!?! It's gives you about 10x the hits from Deadspin it's easier to read commenters don't pick apart your posts (and call you a "fucktard") and you don't have to deal with post after tiresome post about the fucking Cardinals!

Thank you for all that you've done for me my site and every single asshole that just wanted to share an opinion on Sports. It's not easy to be the figurehead and scapegoat for ever single thing that a group does and like I said after the "Bissinger Incident" (and still feel today).....I've never been prouder to call myself a "Sports Blogger". If they can't take a joke....fuck 'em. Godspeed and good luck my overly caffeinated friend.

EAMONN BRENNAN

Like so many other of you internet creepshows I've never met Will and I've only interacted with him via legendary burrito threads and soccer live blogs. I bet you think that makes him your friend. Well guess what: it does. Feels good right?

Anyway Deadspin-era Will will leave many legacies but the most important of those is not the rise of the intelligent fan or the slow legitimization of sports blogs. No the one thing I'll take away is how Deadspin made me functionally retarded. Thanks to Deadspin's "sheesh"- and "gosh"-littered 100-word skittishness I discovered sports blogs and then other blogs and then Google Reader and then Netvibes and then Twitter and with all this quick information my attention span is so shredded I can't make it halfway through an episode of Robot Chicken. While high.

So thanks a lot Will. You really fucked me over here.

GOURMET SPUD

It's tough roasting a guy when:

1) You've never roasted anyone before

2) You've never met him in person and

3) He could take away your audience in a heartbeat

But that didn't stop Al Roker from roasting Matt Lauer so let's give it a whirl.

You had to have been paying attention but long-time readers of Deadspin may have heard Will mention once or twice in passing that he is from a town called Mattoon Illinois.

Not that Mattoon isn't a great place to grow up if a bit segregated. Recent census results list it as 97% white which makes it only slightly less white than the Deadspin commentariat. Will's signature black t-shirt isn't just a minimalist fashion statement. It's a subconcious manifestation of guilt.

If Mattoon has any sense they will one day build a statue honouring Will. He is after all their most famous son. And as an added benefit it would be a nice change of pace to see him being shit on while not on the set of Costas Now.

I would be remiss not to mention the Buzz Bissinger incident. Even my mom has seen that video and she thinks Deadspin is a Jewish high holiday. That was Will's most awkward exchange with a Pulitzer Prize winner since he angrily wrote Toni Morrision to tell her she ruined Rocky V.

In absolute seriousness anyone who writes a sports blog owes Will a massive debt of gratitude. Not just for opening so many doors but for his tireless efforts to bring credibility to the blogosphere. Though laudable these efforts were hardly surprising as Leitch has always been a bit of an activist. In 2001 he successfully lobbied to have the movie "Jeepers Creepers" given an "R" rating. Not for excessive violence but because he found the title offensive.

In closing thanks to Will for starting his own little revolution. A revolution of the pale over-educated and sexless but a revolution nonetheless. I'm speaking for myself when I say that the only reason my tiny little site has a tiny little readership is because of his (and KSK's) links and I can never thank him enough for all the hours he has helped me kill at work. Best of luck at New York Magazine Will you will (pun intended) be missed.

Oh and I wouldn't fuck Will Leitch with Robert Weintraub's dick.

BETHLEHEM SHOALS

We all know Will is as amicable and polite as they come. But how can someone be this nice? What's really going on here? Last time I saw Will in person he was rocking the Obama tee and anyone with the Internet knows that Barry is the Anti-Christ. . . is it possible that Will's whole m.o. is in fact totally sinister a way of lulling us all into calm and submission before he seizes the five states of Zordar and brings about the Apocalypse? Would that make him Obama's running mate? '

Like for instance one time Will was in my home city of Seattle on some official Deadspin business. I couldn't make it to said official business but I suggested we meet up for a drink that night. It turned out that my friend was having a birthday party at a totally really exotic non-Western karaoke spot that night–half the choices were 15-minute long Vietnamese medleys and there was some well-connected older guys in suits who just sat in the balcony ordering food on a never-ending tab and smoking cigars all night (Leitch's real interest in showing up?). So anyway Will was out with two of his oldest friends in the world and yet refused to definitely say to me "no I can't make it to your friend's stupid party."

The mere possibility of his appearance got around and worked several male attendants into a frenzy and they hung on every drunken update I got. Finally communications broke down and the party was never the same after that. Now I'd always seen that as pure charity on Leitch's part. But looking back how manipulative was that? He got a bunch of strangers on the edge of their booths thinking they were this close. Then he let them down graciously breaking their hearts while only strengthening his hold on them. I mean is that Machiavellian or what? That's how you build an empire of the mind without lifting a finger. This is where interactive branding meets fascism.

So who is Will Leitch? Angel? Devil? Ingenue? The Phil Jackson of web publishing? If we truly knew if the answer were simple he wouldn't be where he is today. Congratulations friend foe brother and supernatural force.

DAN STEINBERG

Since most of my first-person stories of non-electronic interactions with Will involve him talking very passionately and very quickly and me not understanding anything he's saying I guess I'll just say that one of my blogging dreams is that Will would one day be asked to create a brief yet critical review for Gizmodo and would submit the following:

We wee on Wii oui?

Wouldn't sound too terribly different from many Deadspin posts near as I can tell.

/Yeah seriously that's all I've got.

DJ GALLO

I am probably not alone on this but I always felt that you were writing specifically about ME and to ME. It must be because you are a great writer. Or perhaps it was due to your gratuitous use of "we."

HENRY ABBOTT

Will Leitch is way too polite a guy to really roast.

I mean I'm 33 and we both live in the New York area. Yet he calls me "sir!" Unless you're Buzz Bissinger how can you possibly yell at a guy like that?

Plus I couldn't possibly roast a guy who after that January NPR interview with Scott Simon comes already self-roasted. Listen at about the 3:40 mark. He was ambushed — and I don't buy for a second that he's racist — but if you diagram the sentence of Will's response I think you'll find about fourteen digressions and thirteen ums followed by the sound of a soul melting.

Stay tuned. More roasters on the way. All day long we encourage you to add your own Leitch jokes and tributes in the comments.

Rick Reilly is a very successful man who's made a career out of being a co-mingling hanger-on well before it was a standard media practice. As a columnist he's always come off as the zany features reporter over at your local television newscast. Even when he puts on his serious face like when he writes about a handicapped polo-playing teenager and his relationship with his cancer-riddled father (his real coach in life!) or whatever you get the sense he wrote it just so he could have a few teary-eyed readers hug him on the street. One of the best descriptions I've ever heard about him was when a friend of mine ran into him at some golf tournament a few years ago and said he was genuinely nice but "he comes off like a guy who really really wishes he wrote the screenplay for Fletch." That works.

That's why this week's column is so astounding. For those of you who have not read it it's an attempt at self-deprecation which somehow still manages to be perversely vain:

In one stretch this month Alex Rodriguez's name was on the front page of the New York Post eight days out of twelve. Paparazzi even followed him to Pittsburgh. Who knew life could suck at $27 million a year?

Madonna once said "I won't be happy until I am more famous than God " but right now A-Rod is probably wishing she wasn't—and that he'd gone into dentistry. None of this is new. When John Elway was at the height of his powers he told me "I'd give $100 000 just to have one day where I could go to the mall and not be noticed. Just be somebody else."

I knew exactly how he felt. People constantly think I'm somebody else.

He goes on to list all of his recent run-ins with people who've confused him for someone else. The whole column stinks of shameless embellishments for the sake of the narrative (800 words and out baby) but it is also an exercise in sublimation. Are we honestly to believe that Rick Reilly — multi-millionaire sports media personality jock-holding extraordinaire — actually feels like an unimportant nobody? Let's translate.

What Reilly said: At this year's U.S. Open in San Diego for instance I was minding my own business walking and eating a ham sandwich when a thirtysomething man with caterpillar eyebrows suddenly stepped in front of me clomped two meaty hands on my shoulders and yelped "Oh … my … God!"

"I can't believe it's you!" he gushed.
"Well " I said "I'm not really all that…"
"Your book changed my life!" he roared.
"Really? Because I don't really write the kind…"
"Tuesdays with Morrie! Greatest book ever written!"

"Didn't write it pal " I snipped. "Wish I had." (I meant it. It sold more than 12 million copies.)

What Reilly meant: " I could've written Tuesdays With Morrie. Could've typed that sanctimonious drivel with my feet. If Mitch Albom were here right now I'd stuff that Star Trek-looking little freak up this clown's ass. "

What Reilly Said:

At the recent Lake Tahoe golf tournament I was walking through a gauntlet of autograph seekers—unbothered and unmolested—when a tall saucer-eared man in his fifties thrust a blue Sharpie and a program in front of me.

"You signing today Rick?"
"I'm signing everyday pal " I said. "Nobody ever asks."
"Hah!" he chortled. "Surrrrre. You won this thing six times right? Or is it seven?"
"Uh no " I said. "You're thinking of Rick Rhoden. The ex-pitcher. Different guy."
"Yeah Rick Reilly the pitcher! You're the best! I have your rookie card!"

What Reilly Said:

The other day a blogger wrote the most amazing email to me regarding the column I wrote about the recent passing of my father Jack Reilly. The piece included a picture of the two of us at my wedding in 1983.

"I have good reason to believe " this guy wrote "that the man in the picture is in fact golf commentator Bob Rosburg. What I'm trying to figure out is why you would do this."

What I was trying to figure out is how I could find this hairball and pull his spleen out with corn tongs. First of all why would Rosburg ABC's long-time on-course shot reporter be at my wedding? Had Jack Nicklaus' Titleist rolled under the shrimp table? Secondly wouldn't I be able to recognize my own father in a picture? And thirdly what possible benefit would I get from pulling this ruse over on the reading public? Had the man somehow uncovered that I was the illegitimate love child of Bob Rosburg? I wrote him and suggested that he borrow steal or purchase a life.

What Reilly Said: The capper though was Katie Couric late of the Today show. I was in the green room waiting to go on and plug a book when she came running up to me like a long-lost sister 1 000-watt smile and open arms.

"I am SO happy to meet you!" she cooed giving me a big hug.
"Oh well me too!" I said flummoxed.
"I'm really looking forward to our segment!" she said. "I loved it as a kid! Do you have the recipe?"
"Yes! No. What?"
"The recipe! Which recipe will we be making?"
"Uh no. I'm a sportswriter. I really don't do uh recipes."
"You're not the Easy-Bake oven guy?"
"No sorry."

And with that she spun on her five-inch heels and left me behind like a roadside San-o-let.

What Reilly meant: "I don't care who she thinks I am. Katie Couric has calves I could gnaw on for days."

When the Minneapolis Star Tribune's Michael "Randball" Rand got Erin Andrews to discuss her thoughts on the infamous Mike Nadel column not only was it a great get for him but it also showed a testier more defensive side of EA. "I think my overall reaction is that it’s really sad that in 2008 … I have people watching every single move I make ” Andrews told Rand. “When there’s a big game between the Cubs and Brewers going on it’s sad that that’s what their focus is on. … And the last thing I had heard is that when you want to do a story on someone you contact them.”

Andrews also disputed Nadel's claims of her caressing Alfonso Soriano's bicep ( I was looking for the broken bone in his hand!) calling Aramis Ramirez "Rammie" (Wha?) and Lou Piniella's va-va-va-voomism (Happened but he's like my dad...ya know?).

But just when you thought the provincial finger-wagging out of the Midwest's sports media was finished it turns out some of Milwaukee's finest Brew Crew chroniclers were also rattled by la rush of Erin Andrewsness. Drew Olson of OnMilwaukee.com said he witnessed Andrews being a little handsy with Brewers players as well during last Wednesday night's game:

As for her "flitting" and "flirting " that was pretty much the same on the Brewers' side. Andrews came on the field while the Brewers were stretching and hugged centerfielder Mike Cameron who I assumed is one of the few Milwaukee players she has met before and spoke to a few other players while gathering information for the broadcast. When it comes to getting interviews attractive women generally have an edge over dumpy men in Dockers pants. That's why it was a bit heartening when Ryan Braun turned down Andrews' request for an interview on the field and told her to ask him later. It was one of those "Welcome to our world" reactions.

Yeesh. Olson did a follow-up story Saturday when he wrangled in FSN Wisconsin's perky-pretty sports reporter Trenni Kusnierek to sound-off on Erin Andrews' professionalism and of course that dress.

"I understand that Erin Andrews isn't considered a "journalist" so the same rules that apply to writers and television reporters do not apply to her. She (and ESPN remote game crews in general) gets better access to players and managers and the story lines Erin follows are often very different from what (Journal Sentinel beat writers) Tom Haudricourt or Anthony Witrado are going to write.

"With that said I still think reporters should hold themselves to the highest professional standard. I found her dress to be inappropriate for the workplace. Even some Brewers players said that although she's great to look at the dress wasn't appropriate for the ballpark.

...[A]s for Mike Nadel's column it was refreshing to see someone hold her accountable instead of ogling her in print. It was obvious by the comments made by Lou Piniella and Cubs players that the outfit and behavior were unacceptable.

"And I know what all the guys out there are going to say 'Trenni is just being catty because she's jealous.' Trust me when I say I'm not. Erin is a beautiful girl with a body I'd kill for. I know she's hotter than me. But she'd still be better looking in a professional outfit not just in glorified lingerie. As a female in the same business I wish she'd realize how damaging it is to an entire gender when she carries herself in that manner. It sets us all back to a time where female sports reporters were all seen as husband hunters who were only in the business to catch a cheap glance.

For better or worse this issue isn't going away anytime soon. It will be brought up again. And again. But the next time Erin engages in questionable journalistic-y behavior it may not result in 1 000-word columns stealthily critiquing her every move while she's doing her job but it'll be noticed. And it won't just by every shlumpy beat reporter forced to jockey for quotes without the aid of a hard body and an ESPN press pass. It'll be the players. The organization. The security staff. Maybe it won't be a big deal and the next time Erin does an ESPN game she'll be properly pantsuited de-glamorized and less personable for the sake of "professionalism." But that'll give the impression that ESPN— regardless of Norby's impassioned defense — does think her behavior and wardrobe were in fact inappropriate for Wednesday night national baseball game coverage. We'll find out soon enough: Andrews is in Arlington this Wednesday to cover the Yankees/Rangers. Come Thursday morning the outcome of the game will once again become secondary to how sensibly-attired she is and if somebody caught her asking Josh Hamilton if she could count his tattoos. I wonder: Is this still what she signed up for?

Erin Andrews: My overall reaction is it's really sad [Randball]
Fashioning a Ballpark Debate [OnMilwaukee]
A Female Journalist's Perspective on the Erin Andrews story [OnMilwaukee]