To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane co-editor of Walk Off Walk to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week.

Mr. Iracane is the guy who approves and deletes comments around here and the fellow to whom you should address any comment account requests and he will explore issues involved in commenting what makes a great comment thread what's working what isn't answer your questions so on. We want the place to continue to be as much fun as it is every day and it's not an execution thread like our friends at Gawker do. We like to be inclusive here because if we're not we'd be forced to rely on our own wit and knowledge and that's a scary thought indeed.

So here's this week's column the next installment of Rejected Commenter Theater after the jump. Of course don't be afraid to let him have it in the comments.

It's the fourth edition of Deadspin commenters' favorite feature Rejected Commenter Theater! Deadspin readers need to try out to become full-fledged commenters and I'm the one who approves and rejects them. I'll take the worst audition comments from the past few weeks and put them together in a short column so we can all point and laugh at how horrid some people's senses of humor are. They're not as funny as me! I find that amusing! Here we go:

Last month Rick posted a YouTube video and wrote about how Charles Barkley was going to stop gambling. First of all Charles Barkley is full of shit. Secondly pending commenter BROWNBANDITO felt the urge to pipe in about Sir Charles:

WELL SAID WHO YOU LIKE TONIGHT? DAM ERNIE NICE SET UP THATS WHAT HOMIES ARE FOR. ANYWAYZ C'MON CHARLES YOU KNOW WE DONT BELIEVE YOU.....YOUR STILL EATING THEM DOUBLE CHEESE BURGERS TALKEN BOUT IM GONNA LOOSE WEIGHT.MAN JUST BE YOURSELF GAMBLE PIGOUT PUNCH PEOPLE IN THEIR FACES.THATS CHARLES THAT MADE YOU CHARLES........THATS THE CHARLES I LOVE. WE DONT NEED NO EXPLAINATION.JUST TAKE CARE OF YOURS AND YOUR FAM ..........AY YAH YAI MI GORDITO TIME FOR ANOTHER CHALUPA

Well damn looks like BROWNBANDITO was quite the prognosticator. He totally called Charles Barkley out well before his latest indiscretion. I'm sorry I banned you so quickly you crazy caps-lock-usin' sonofabitch. Let that be a lesson future commenters. Don't use ALL CAPS when typing out a comment. It makes you sound crazy like Jose Offerman-level crazy.

A couple weeks ago contributor Pete Croatto gave us a a smart investigation into Prince Fielder's vegetarianism. Mr. Croatto presented the issues using well-researched facts and shared some interesting ideas on the benefits of vegetarianism. Which of course prompted the animal-loving PETA freaks to come out of the closet and attempt to post wacky comments. Commenter PhatP shares his/her ideas as such:

Vegetarians and vegans live much longer healthier lives than do meat eaters according to every major study done. You do not need to eat dead animals to be strong healthy or happy. I've been vegan for almost 20 years and I can attest to not needing to eat animal flesh or drink animal milk.

Look it up...Meat consumption is the number one cause of global warming polluter of the worlds water supply the cause of the worlds grain shortage (and not bio fuels look it up)
and the cause of over 40 billion land animals a year being slaughtered for trivial reasons.

That's actually one of the least wacky comments posted on the topic but still I am offended that PhatP thinks the full rack of sauce-slathered St. Louis ribs I consumed for dinner tonight came from a porker that was 'slaughtered for trivial reasons.' I hope PhatP was not offended that he/she was rejected for entirely consequential reasons.

Another unfortunate topic that brings out the crazies is the upcoming Presidential election. Deadspin columnist Big Daddy Drew contributed a thoughtful piece regarding Barack Obama Tiger Woods and the late Tim Russert. Yes I was surprised that Big Daddy Balls wrote a thoughtful Balls Deep column. No I was not surprised that the mere mention of 'Barack Obama' brought out some nutty folks. Here's LeonardBunting:

Your right Obama does represent a historical moment of change..its called socialism. Matthew Noll Indianapolis IN Matthew.Noll@gmail.com

Well LeonardBunting né Matthew Noll of Indianapolis Indiana if you're going to post a grammatically incorrect and wildly off-the-mark political comment try not to sign it with your real name and email address. Folks if you're going to contact Matthew let's be on our best behaviors and use some discretion. Only serious emails please. Commenter flygirlinmydreams takes the political message a little bit further and gets a little personal:

Will only younger voters accept a candidate's wife changing her image during the middle of a public campaign? We elders aren't that easy! She can look act speak as "darlingly" as possible but I live by "a leopard doesn't change her/his spots" because 99.99% of all times it's been accurate. Convince me otherwise?

Fat chance we'll be able to convince you otherwise flygirl. This is a humorous sports blog. We make dick jokes. Go back to TownHall.com.

Of course not every rejected comment is of a political nature. Take WallaceCachifa's sole comment from last week:

If you don't already know you don't want to know. Forget it Jake. It's ChinaDUAN.

These commenters however would never stick their noses somewhere they didn't belong because they earned Comments of the Fortnight:

•Re: Bill Conlin's latest racially-insensitive comments
Arriaga_II: He was referring to Vineland's "World Famous Micks Spicks & Zips Blueberry Harvest Festival" June 11-16.

•Re: The Nets' wacky free gas promotion
UkraineNotWeak: Most people in Brooklyn get free gas via the siphon hose.

•Re: The endorsements on Stefan Fatsis' new book
Will Leitch: Ha. Sorry. You might have heard Buzz gets me flustered.

Thanks Will for the opportunity to write the combudsman columns and best wishes at New York magazine. I promise I won't ban you.

Hey everybody! Wimbledon starts today. Screw the French. And you too Australia. Along with the U.S. Open it’s the only tennis tournament that counts. So put on your best tennis whites cue up those rain delay montages and brace for those awkward Dick Enberg segues. In honor of George Carlin here are seven (semi-dirty) things to expect this fortnight:

1. Roger Federer will lose. At least that’s what many tennis analysts and closeted fans are predicting after the Swiss grass-master (39-4 all-time Wimbledon record 60 straight wins on grass) was spanked by Rafael Nadal in the French Open final and lost in the semis in Australia. Not sure how long Federer’s bout with mono last year can be used as an excuse but the five-time champ’s clearly not the same player he was even a year ago. And it’s not just tennis analysts who are down on Federer. It’s other players like no. 3 Novak Djokovic—he of the pitch-perfect YouTube Federer impersonation—who said this the other day:

"I think he's a little bit shaken with that loss and mentally he has been struggling in the last couple of months. New names are coming—fresh talented players who believe more they can win against him—and I am one of them. Suddenly he is a bit worried."

2. Serena Williams will underachieve. She had one of the more miraculous fourth round matches ever during last year’s tournament saved by a rain delay after her calf cramped up against Daniela Hantuchova only to come back a few hours later wearing pants—pants!—to oust the slender Slovak. This year Serena’s been plagued with … well nothing. She’s just not that into it—as people who’ve watched her practice sessions can attest. But don’t worry her erratic monotone post-loss press conference won’t disappoint. (She’s so pleasant isn’t she?)

3. During the women’s final Ana Ivanovic and Maria Sharapova will get and hot and start rolling around and making out with each other. Play will be suspended. Yuri will of course watch intensely. (Bill Simmons will tune in for that.)

4. James Blake will underachieve. It’s no secret that Blake is our favorite tennis player. He might be the fittest player on tour outside of Nadal. His forehand his huge. His talent is tantalizing. But just when we think he’s about to break through (see: Andre Agassi fifth set tiebreak 2005 U.S. Open quarterfinal) he always seems to figure out a way to fuck it up. Plus Blake especially blows at Wimbledon where he hasn’t gotten past the third round. (To give you an idea of how bad it’s gotten less than two days after Blake was dispatched last year he was playing second base for the Francesca’s Deli slow-pitch softball team in South Norwalk Connecticut. He did go two-for-four.)

5. John McEnroe will use his pulpit in the booth to lobby the All-England Lawn Tennis Club to mandate the use wooden rackets. No more oversized-carbonite-graphite-ultralite bullshit. Old-school rawhide grip and volleys that could give you splinters. How cool would that be? (What? Not cool? Imagine for a second that Major League Baseball began allowing aluminum bats.)

6. Sleepers. A lot of people are picking the unseeded Mario Ancic the last guy to beat Federer on grass. Of course that was six years ago. We’d rather root for John Isner a six-foot-nine University of Georgia grad with a monster serve. On the women’s side um let’s go with Nicole Vaidisova. She’s 19. She’s German. She’s slumping apparently. But hey she’s hot.

7. Doubles. The top-ranked Bryan brothers face a tough test in … oh who the hell cares.

Predictably Don Imus' comments yesterday about Adam "Ex-Pac" Jones have triggered more debate about the old man's motivations: Has he finally lost it? Will he be fired? Is he really just a hood-wearing racist hiding behind a shock jock's microphone? All legitimate questions.

Imus said the comments were "sarcastic" and reflective of how black men are treated by police officers. When you listen to the audio again...maybe that makes sense. But in that context it's way too easy to misinterpret.

And Adam Jones who recently exorcised the Pacman demon from his body to take one footstep toward model citizenry was obviously floored by the Imus remarks. He tells the Dallas Morning News:

"I'm truly upset about the comments. Obviously Mr. Imus has problems with African-Americans. I'm upset and I hope the station he works for handles it accordingly. I will pray for him."

And of course Al Sharpton is looking into this matter and will determine the appropriate amount of ire people should be filled with after this latest incident.

Prediction? Imus is gone. Again.

Dallas Cowboys' Adam Jones Upset With Imus Comments [Dallas Morning News]
Don Imus Says He Was Making A 'Sarcastic' Point [AP]
Sharpton Looking Into Imus Comments [Cowboys' Blog]

Here we have Julie Pritchett a former middle school special-ed teacher in sleepy Trussville Alabama whose love of young men playing baseball extends beyond the diamond and into her pants.

According to Alabama police Mrs. Pritchett seduced and had sex with 8 boys on the Chalkville High School baseball team. So far she's only been charged with two counts of sodomy (some of the boys she boinked were over the age of consent) and faces up to 20 years in prison.

Trussville residents of course are outraged. Especially sub sandwich shop owner Wendy Franklin whose son is headed into 10th grade next year:

They're just outraged because this place is so little you wouldn't think that something like that would happen up here. I think they [older ladies who fornicate with young boys] ought to be put away if they did do it. I don't believe in that. It's just almost as bad as murdering cause you're taking a child's innocence."

Almost as bad as "murdering" but not quite. But given the size and seemingly voracious sexual appetite of this woman her actions could constitute dick murdering in some states.

Teacher Sleeps With High School Baseball Team? [Sports By Brooks]

Balls Deep by Drew Magary will not be appearing this week. In its place we bring you this very special presentation.

Oh hello. And welcome one and all to the All-Star Blogebrity Roast Of William F. Leitch. We’re here today to pay tribute to Will Leitch: editor of this fair site. Daulerio and I love Leitch so much we’ve decided to have Gawker disable his login account for the next few hours so he can’t get in. (Don’t bother trying to fight it Will. Nibbles The Fearsome employs a nearly unbreakable e-ballgag.)

While Leitch hyperventilates into a paper bag for the rest of the afternoon AJ and I Drew Magary will be your Roastmasters bringing you tributes from various luminaries in the sports blogoverse: bloggers reporters some choice Deadspin commenters surprise guests etc. We’ve got nearly as many roasters here today as Leitch has ex-fiancees.

Many of today’s roasters were hesitant to rip on Will after all he’s done for them. “He’s too polite to roast!” they said. And this is true. Will is so polite